Kids and their Birthday celebrations...

Our son turned 10 recently. We bought him his first cell phone (in hopes of talking to him more), took him to Magic Mountain, and basically made the whole weekend his choice....

Our older daughter is turning 4 next week. We are having a backyard party with friends, and building her a playset/swingset.

Is that fair?

We made the weekend all about our son... we will make the day all about her.

He got a family only "party" with mini golf where I think he won, or came pretty close. He played video games, go-karts, and sprinter cars... where Daddy beat him, but they still had fun :)

Everyone had fun for his Birthday, and all our kids will have fun on "her" playset...

so I'm trying to decide if I'm doing too much with trying to make her cakes as well...

She wants a Butterfly and Ladybug Birthday Party... so red chocolate chip or srawberry chocolate chip ice cream scoops will resemble ladybugs, or so I hope.

So I'm thinking of making Butterfly cakes... by making a round cake, cutting it in half and putting the round parts together, then cutting triangles out of what used to be the middle of the cake... then spread Icing, and trace the outside to make wings and put a big stripe down the middle for the body.

I missed a picture of it before she started "helping" decorate... but she has a beautiful creation, doesn't she?

Is it just their ages? Or is it that she lives with us that makes it different? I don't want to give him more or less because he isn't here, I don't like the idea of "making up for time by spending money"

I also don't want her to miss out or get more just because she gets us all the time so she doesn't need as much or its easier to give her more...
I feel I need to find a balance...

This is becoming a regular struggle in my mind, to still be fair when we can't be equal to our kids... right now their birthdays are the biggest thing puzzling me.