Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Nursing takes time

Nursing is a way of feeding, usually when breastfeeding, but holding baby and bottle and snuggling could be considered nursing too, or I think so :)
My thoughts today are about the time spent and if the older children are jipped of time. Here we breastfeed, because I love my sleep and I'm too lazy to get up in the middle of the night when baby is hungry and go downstairs to make a bottle, come back up and stay awake while baby is eating, then get us both back to sleep. Say what you will, I nurse in my sleep so I feel like I get more, and everyone will agree, a happy mommy that slept is MUCH better than a crabby mommy that didn't sleep!
So my point: When I had my first daughter, I overcame many obstacles to nurse her. It was just me and her. It was rough, but there were no distractions and no one that needed me to take time from nursing her.
This time around it's soo different. My oldest daughter usually wants something as soon as we sit down, so I have learned to walk/stand and nurse. Our son is old enough that I use a cover when he's here just like I when out in public or when other guys are here. (If I had nursed him, I would not cover up as it really is an extra step that feels like too much when baby is screaming hungry.) I pay attention to the big kids more than the baby when I'm nursing as much as I can so that they don't feel like the baby is taking that time from them. I'm slowly learning to have things accessible to do them one-handed and to have snacks and drinks ready at all times for when a marathon nursing session happens. The problem is that I am still trying to stop the feelings of guilt when I can't snuggle with both my little girls. When our son is here, I wonder how much it affects him. I find myself trying to do more and more while nursing so that it's still "productive time spent" especially when he's here, but even when he isn't.

"Breastfeeding takes commitment" I read on the mail last night with a formula coupon... I won't go there today. Commitment..., so now I feel guilty that maybe I don't give this baby as much committed time as I gave my 1st daughter to nurse. Do all moms deal with this? I can't be the only one that feels like the balls of time with the children that I am juggling have to be more and more connected.
I need superglue so I can juggle more balls of time together, but maybe I need to learn to separate the nursing one more often, she won't be a snuggly little baby forever!

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